Saturday, July 31, 2010

Hooray for Weston!

Weston finished his pneumonia antibiotics and has weaned himself off the ventilator.  He is doing so much better, and he is such a happier little man when he doesn't have the vent down his throat.  He was doing so well today that I got to snuggle him for two whole hours.  He just conked out on my chest, it was one of the sweetest moments he and I have had yet.  He's such a darling little boy.  We are so grateful at how much of a trooper he was through this first infection.

Addi is doing well too.  She hit 2 lbs 8 oz. today.  We're so glad for the little cutie, she's been such a stable little thing through her whole first 5 weeks of life.  We sure love them!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Getting Ready.....

Wednesday morning our cribs were delivered, and last night my wonderful husband agreed to put them together for me.  Yes, we still have a while before the babies come home.  Yes, when they get home they  won't use the cribs at first.  But decorating the nursery is important to me.  I feel the need to nest even though the babies were already born.  The bedding sets are ready, now the cribs are put together, and next I'm going to be painting some shelves for the wall and doing block letters with their names on them.

But stage 1 of the nursery is done.  Cribs are up!  Here are a few pictures of our fun filled evening putting them together!:D

My cute husband opening the boxes.  He's such a cute dad!:D


And done!  Now we just need mattresses:)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Baby Update

The littlest Schwartzes are growing!  Addison is up to 2 lbs. 2 oz and Weston is 2 lbs. 4 oz.  They have had a hard week this past week.  It started with Weston getting an infection in his lungs that turned in to pneumonia.  He had to go back onto the ventilator to help him breathe while he fights the infection.  They started him on antibiotics and he's been a tough little fighter ever since.  His lungs are looking better after the round of antibiotics and a small chest tube.  He's on the upswing and then we look forward to weaning him off the ventilator and seeing his cute little face again.

Addison was not liking all of the attention that brother was getting and tried to get some of her own.  She started getting an infection in her tummy, so they stopped her feeds and started her on antibiotics.  She didn't want to get poked too many times so she kicked her infection after two days and got her feeds started again yesterday.  They've been giving her a little tiny preemie binky to help her work on her sucking reflex too.  Hopefully it won't be too many more months before they can try nursing.

She's always sticking out her cute little pinkies and trying to suck on her fingers:)

So we've finally exited the honeymoon period with the little ones and have had our first roller coaster experiences in the NICU.  We expected infections and hope that they can keep kicking their infections the way that they have so far.  Thanks for everybody's thoughts and prayers!  They are much appreciated!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Diary of a Twin Mom

So I decided this blog was better used for pictures and fun family updates. I've started another blog that is easier to post to from my phone where I can keep my writing skills sharp while out of school and hanging out in the hospital. It will contain more of my random thoughts and feelings. The link is if you want to follow me there too. :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

My Transitional Issues

Anyone who knows me well will be able to tell you that I am not a patient person, happiness and optimisim are the things that I do well. Patience is not. It is an issue that I have and I own it. I know that I am that way. Why then does it continue to surprise me then that transitional periods in my life make me feel like this:

I don't do well. Especially when I know (or think I know) exactly what is coming. I want to hurry and get to that point. I try to learn to enjoy the journey and enjoy where I am, but I am constantly looking forward to something. When that something doesn't come fast enough, I feel like I need to control something in my life and that usually turns into the need rearrange all of the plans that I had for my life.

This transitional period in my life is no different, if anything my need to rearrange plans has been worse. Pre-pregnancy and during pregnancy, the plan was to finish my last 12 credits in the spring, take the GRE test, and apply for graduate school. They have the masters degree I want completely online that I would be able to finish in 2 years. Yes that's a lot to take on with twins, but it has always been a "maybe" and only if I think I can handle it.

Since the babies have been born and we have been in the transitional period between being pregnant and actually being a real mom (being busy with my babies at home), my plan rearrangment has gone crazy.... I've researched getting a second bachelors degree, double majoring, getting my MBA or doing all three at the same time. I know all of those things would make me crazy and totally overwhelm me, but I can't help rearranging my plans while my life is in transition mode.... its an issue that I'm working through. Or pretending that I'm working through.... next week I may be looking into becoming an astronaut.

However... the time that my mind isn't spinning crazy thoughts is when I get glimpses of what my real life might actually look like. Its hard to feel like a real mom the way that things are right now. Then all of the sudden I get to experience moments where I feel like a real mom, my mind calms down and I feel like being a mom to my sweethearts is what I was made to do.

This was one of those moments:
I got to give my sweet little son a bath. I've learned how to appreciate every little thing when it comes to my children. I looked forward to this moment for 24 hours when the nurse told us what time they would be doing it. I watched as Justin bathed Addison, and savored the feeling of being like a "real" mom.

We just pray that we continue to get more and more of these moments before the new astronaut dream comes to fruition.;)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Reflections (WARNING- Sappiness ahead!)

Realizing I had a lot less laundry to do than I thought this afternoon, I busied myself with flipping through old pictures on my computer. I realized how fast this last year has gone, and the further I got back into my pictures, how fast the last two years... three years.... four years.... four and a half years.... (and that's as far as the pictures on my computer go back;)) And I realize that soon, our time in the NICU will be a distant memory. Time goes so fast and trials (which may make days seem like years while you're going through them) really don't last that long.

I was looking back at high school pictures full of friends that I have lost touch with, BYU pictures full of carefree craziness, cancer pictures (yes there are some that I keep to myself), pictures from my U of I institute days, Italy pictures full of new experiences and amazing friendships, pictures of me falling in love with my wonderful husband and marrying him, pictures of our amazingly crazy and fun newlywed adventures, and now pictures of the two little ones that I never imagined I could love so much.

I am feeling incredibly grateful for everything that has happened in my life. I look back in awe at everything I have been through, all of the decisions I thought were impossible to make, all of the happinesses (yes, I've decided it is a word) and all of the days I thought I'd never make it through.

I am also feeling incredibly grateful for everything that is on its way. Before we know it, these beautiful little ones will be running around, and the NICU will be a distant memory that we remember with the help of these wonderful pictures that we flip through, and the journals and blogs that we keep.

Everyone says that as soon as you have kids the years tend to just fly by. I know that they will. I look forward to all of the new adventures that life is going to throw my way, and I am so grateful for the wonderful little family I have to tackle the new adventures with!:D

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Twincredible Miracles

...... before I really start this post, I have to just say how creative I'm feeling this morning with that title..... ;)

Our crazy last month started June 21 when I called in sick to work because I was feeling sick. I started having contractions 10 minutes apart that morning and bleeding. I called the doctor who told me to go directly to labor and delivery at Logan Regional Hospital because bleeding and contractions that close together were not a good thing at just barely 24 weeks.

They put me on some monitors and drugs to stop the contractions. By the time the doctor came in to see me, I was dilated to a 4 and they decided to fly me to McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden. If the babies came, they wanted them to be at a NICU that could handle them.

I got my first helicopter ride that day. Justin sent me off at Logan, and my mom (who had been in Provo luckily) met me in Ogden while Justin had to drive down. They stopped my labor, pumped me full of drugs that would help the babies survive if they came, and told me I would be spending lots of quality time in Ogden, in my hospital room, in bed. So I hunkered down for the next couple of days expecting a very long stay.

Friday morning at my 2 AM check, I started having contractions again. The second medicine they had put me on to keep labor at bay was not working as well as the first. The contractions kept coming and kept getting more painful, so they transferred me back over to labor and delivery to keep a closer watch on me. This went on for about 12 more hours until I had a placental abruption and they took me back for an emergency c-section.

Within 20 minutes I was on the table and they were delivering the babies. Each baby was met by a neonatologist and a team of 4 nurses. They cleaned them up, intubated them and got them attached to all of the monitors and IVs that they would need. After they finished my C-section and wheeled me to recovery, they took Justin to meet our little cuties.
Addison grabbed his finger so hard that her little knuckles turned white. They were both stable and very tiny. They were both 13.5 in. Weston was born first at 1 lb 11 oz and then Addison at 1 lb 10 oz. After about an hour in recovery, they let me go see them before they took me back up to my room.

I went back to my room to recover. Saturday, the babies stayed stable and the nurses continued to find the right mix of antibiotics, oxygen and IVs to help my little babies survive in the outside world.

Sunday my babies got their first priesthood blessing from their dad and both of their grandpas. They continued to to better throughout that whole evening. Addison's main IV or pic line was finally able to be put in.

Monday flew by as a blur as we spent the day in the NICU and waited to see their head ultrasounds to look for brain bleeds. Their scans came back clear and would be repeated when they were a week old.

Tuesday I was supposed to be released from the hospital the Neonatologist came to see me in my room that morning and told me that Addison was going to need a heart surgery to be able to help her grow and heal better. I called Justin and he rushed over to give his daughter a priesthood blessing before she went back for her heart surgery. While they had Addison in the operating room, they decided that Weston needed the surgery as well and they took him for his operation when they brought Addison back. Both surgeries went well, and we were very thankful for the wonderful heart surgeon and his ability to operate so successfully on hearts that small.

Wednesday started our daily treks to Ogden. We have been going every day and watching our children fight and do so well for preemies their age.

Thursday they took them both of the ventilators and let them try to breathe on their own with just oxygen blowing into their noses. Addison did so well and has not had to go back on yet. Weston was able to make it for three hours before his lungs got tired and they put him back on. He was able to come off the next week again, and has been doing well ever since.

Friday they repeated their brain scans and they both came back clear. This was a huge relief for Justin and I. Brain bleeds are one of the most worrisome things that can happen to preemies, and our babies had not had any in their first week which is when 90% of them happen.

Every day we go down to Ogden we are so grateful for the wonderful nurses and doctors who are caring for our little ones. We are so grateful for all of the prayers from our friends and family who are thinking of us and praying for us constantly. We have definitely felt the thoughts and prayers and it has been an incredible blessing in our lives.

Addison in her 4th of July bow.

Weston being so darn adorable. He totally has me wrapped around his finger!

Addison and her pink bow:)

Weston snuggling up to Justin

Addison with her brown and polka dotted bows... (I love that they do this in the NICU)

I am so thankful for my little ones. I love them more than I would have ever thought was possible. They are little miracles who continue to teach me every day that life is so precious and it is amazing what a little bit of love and a lot of prayer can do. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who has helped me stay calm and brave through this trial. I've been through hard physical trials that He has helped me through, and now I'm learning that He can do the same through emotional trials. I am thankful for prayer and how wonderful it is to be able to communicate with Heavenly Father. And last but not least, I am so thankful for Eternal Families and the opportunity that I have to be with Justin, Weston and Addison forever.